We had the good fortune of connecting with Joseph Gandurski and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Joseph, any advice for those thinking about whether to keep going or to give up?

The most important thing I could relay to people is to not ever give up your goals lightly. Never get into the habit of giving up on things throughout your life because the goal seems too hard. Doing so can develop a poor self-image, guilt, shame, self-doubt, and a lack of enthusiasm for attaining what you want in life. History is filled with individuals who have overcome what seemed to be impossible odds to achieve their objective.

I think most people experience significant challenges in their lives. To meet those challenges and overcome obstacles molds character. Challenges throughout our lives ground us in reality, test our resolve, help develop coping skills and provide a sense of humility. But sometimes we come to realize that as much as we may want to accomplish certain goals, significant challenges or obstacles may seem insurmountable and tempt us to abandon them. However, there are some circumstances where giving up may seem to be the best choice in the long run. Why beat yourself up? Why continue to wear yourself out, expending enormous amounts of mental, physical, and often financial resources to attain a goal that after all the effort and sacrifice now seems impossible? I think it may be helpful to examine the dynamics of persistence and perseverance versus “throwing in the towel.”

I believe it’s necessary to do a “cost analysis” of every goal we target. What is necessary in terms of commitment of time, money, mental and physical resources in relationship to the overall benefit? Maybe it would be helpful to provide some examples. Example 1: learn to drive a stick shift. Your uncle passed away and he had a 1995 car in great shape that you will inherit for free, but it’s a manual shift. You have no idea how to drive a stick shift. So you do an assessment–how do I learn to drive this? What resources do I need to expend? What will be the benefit?

You can look up many videos on You Tube, ask friends to help, spend about 5 hours practicing and learning what it takes to control the vehicle, then learn how to drive the manual in traffic safely. Benefit–free car and you learn a new skill.  However, mastering the clutch and gas pedal without”killing” the engine can be frustrating. After many stalls and jerky starts you may think ” Forget about it. It’s too much trouble, I can just trade it in and get an automatic.” You can consider the consequences of giving up. You save more time not trying to learn something you may have little use for in today’s world. You trade that car for one that you can use right away. So the impact on your life is minimal. You may feel a little bad because you’ve been taught not to give up easily, but in the grand scheme of things it’s no “biggy.” You move on

Now let’s change the circumstances and raise the stakes considerably. Your life dream is to be a movie star and enjoy wealth and international fame. Again, do the assessment. Do you know how to act? Do you understand the “language of film” and the business? Are you willing to spend the considerable time and money necessary to master the art? Do you live in a major motion picture production market?  Let’s say you are willing to do whatever it takes, and you go for it. You start with local theatre while taking lessons. You start to audition for independent and student films to build experience and a resume. You will make little to nothing for a long time. Do you have a source of income to make ends meet? If not, you need to have a “real” job. You realize that to get more professional opportunities you need to have an agent. You need to apply to many agencies for representation. You now need to be available for auditions. You continue to take lessons. You fall in love and decide to get married. You get better and better as an actor and start to book some commercials. You realize you need to qualify for union membership to get more professional jobs, especially in film, more lessons, headshots, a demo reel, fees for hosting on casting sites. Now the kids start coming. You have to maintain a steady job, maintain your professional training level and hope to book more work and keep building a resume. You realize you’ve spent several thousand dollars and though you are well received locally, to make “the big time” you need to go to LA. But on the reverse side, your wife is struggling with the kids, you are struggling financially to make ends meet, your steady job cannot let you spend several months in LA. You are getting older. Your choices are to move to LA with or without your family. Your wife is supportive and can get a job there so you pull up stakes and move to LA. You need an agent there and a manager would also help. That’s 25% of your booked jobs. You need to continue to network, take classes, keep headshots up to date, keep reels current use every opportunity to promote yourself- to position yourself to get better agents, better managers, therefore better roles and gradually move up to more elite levels of the acting world to a point where you are considered to be a “working actor” making enough money to live comfortably, pay the bills, and enjoy the respect and admiration of your peers. Eventually you may be considered an “A lister” and enjoy celebrity and receive the highest accolades of the industry. You may become very wealthy and gain total control of your career. You and your family reap the benefits of your perseverance.

Or not.

You may make a total commitment, do all of the above and never reach your goal of becoming a “star.” You might have family issues back in your hometown. Your parents need help, your kids start to struggle in school, your wife is an angel but you see the strain on her and eventually it strains your marriage, which stresses your work. You are not making anywhere near enough in the business to sustain yourself and family. So what you should have been doing all along is making assessments of risk and reward, cost and benefit.

You have chosen a goal that has a very low “success” rate but potentially great rewards. To even have a shot, you need to commit fully and invest tremendous time and resources. There comes a point somewhere down the road where you need to do a cold analysis of where you are relative to your goal and the realistic chances of you reaching that goal in the foreseeable future. You need to make this analysis in open communication with your significant others (those who can help you and hurt you) and with your loved ones. What toll will it take on your life to continue with your course of action vs abandoning your goal? You need to make this analysis looking at all the relevant factors. to include your age, your health, your family’s needs, your marketability and all the factors that either favor your continuance or favor your abandonment of your goal.

I know a young man who was drafted number one for a major league baseball team.  He spent twelve years in the minors and never made the majors. Ultimately, he abandoned his goal and instead took a job as a scout for the ball team.

There was another individual I know who grew up very poor and had limited success over many years as he toured , then moved to LA without his family and ended up sleeping in his car. He persevered and refused to give up and continued improving his craft and positioned himself for a possible break and he took advantage of it when he got it. He was a natural talent who worked extremely hard and ended up in the upper echelons of the entertainment world.

In one case persistence didn’t work out and in the other one it did. One of the main factors in each case was age. There are certain goals that have definite expiration dates, such as law enforcement, firefighter jobs, with strict age limits and there are goals with softer limits that become serious considerations, such as the entertainment business, the sports world. For example, you are not likely to become a major league baseball player if you start at 30, you are not likely to become a pro basketball player if you are 5 foot 5 inches. Then there are the “ever less likely’s.” For instance, the older you are, the less likely you will become a major star. The shorter your fingers are, the less likely you will be a master guitarist, The less natural rhythm you have, the less likely you will be a major dancer, the narrower your vocal range, the less likely you will be a celebrity voice.

But there is some good news. You can always “modify” your goal. As you mature and become more astute at self-analysis you begin to understand that celebrity doesn’t necessarily equate with “success.” You can’t get the roles you crave, you can start creating your own content. You can begin to understand that the real joy in acting is in exploring the human condition, challenging yourself,  creating something meaningful. You can stay closer to home and get involved in local theatre, or indie films. Many of these productions are excellent. You can reap many of the rewards of your original goal by re-focusing and re-orienting yourself.

As I said in the beginning, the decision to abandon a major goal should not be taken lightly. Your life dream is your dream. If you work in a corporate office and devote your blood and sweat to move up the corporate level only to be passed over repeatedly for whatever reason hurts. It’s a blow to the psyche- to your self-image. It can be crushing mentally and physically.

In my life there have been several occasions where I’ve had to consider whether I should keep going or give up. The first was right after my stint in the service. I started work in a corporate owned business and was learning to be what would be called an “efficiency expert.” I enjoyed the work but the environment was kind of toxic. The corporation had taken over a small previously family-owned factory operation. The employees were basic blue collar factory workers, good people who had a loyalty to the previous owners. They were punch press operators and laborers. I was considered management. I figured I would try my hand at climbing the corporate ladder and there were promises made of developing me. However, I disliked the attitude of management towards labor. They viewed the laborers as uneducated disposable workers. I made an effort to “fit in” but just never felt comfortable. I caught management in several lies to the laborers and they made several promises to me about raises, promotion, etc. “sometime in the future.” Well the near future  became the distant future and nothing was forthcoming. So I set a date, and if nothing happened I would give them my notice. Nothing happened and I left the job with no other job waiting. So one thing you need to assess is–is the goal worthwhile?

Shortly after, I became a Chicago Police officer. I really loved the job and my fellow officers and felt we made a positive difference. However, promotions were scarce, promotional exams hadn’t been given for years. It was evident the department was ruled by politics and I refused to become involved with political entities to get promoted. I thought long and hard and talked it over with my wife. There were openings at her work which would possibly lead to management positions. The pay was good and it was a much larger corporate entity. I left the department after five years to do that job. The people were terrific. But after training, I hated the actual job. You had to deal with a multi-faceted bureaucracy to get anything done. You were basically stuck inside, and I just could not see myself doing this for 20 odd years. I just did not fit in with that corporate culture. I quit, and here was my thinking. I left the police job, a job that I truly loved because of my perception that there was just no future in it. I never had the “clout ” necessary to get assigned to an elite unit and promotional exams were rare and the results skewed in favor of minorities to make up for past injustices of which I was never a part. However, I had heard from some people who were saddened that I left because it seemed to them that I was a good cop. So I decided to go back and “be the police officer I wanted to be.” I did thirty one years, got my Masters Degree , served in some very specialized units to include the mounted patrol, became a detective and the promotions started and I ended up retiring as Deputy Chief of Organized Crime,

Finally, after retirement, I decided to look into a lifelong interest in acting. I started to take lessons and auditioned for some local theatre companies. From there I got good roles in some independent films here. I got an agent and did a lot of auditions, there wasn’t much going on here in Chicago at the time, so I thought I’d try my hand at LA. I found a sympathetic manager who believed in me and my potential and travelled out there just in time for the writer’s strike in 2008. However, I networked–got headshots, took classes. Did all the right things, but my mother was aging, my father had passed, and I needed to help my sister and my wife with her care. So I made short three-month forays to LA over the next five years. I managed to book a role on Criminal Minds and a nice role in the feature film, Chavez. When I returned to Chicago, I landed a really nice role in an indie feature film but things kind of ground to a halt. The feature film never got released for whatever reason. I did a couple of other roles in indies and some student films but could never book a role in any of the shows that shot here. Most of the time you never learn why you don’t book a role and you start to make up crazy scenarios in your head. “They don’t like me, they don’t want a cop, too old, too white, too whatever.” But I refuse to give up. I continue to do auditions, but haven’t booked anything for a good while. So what to do?  Ultimately, I did “modify” that goal. I now created my own content. I wrote, produced, and performed an award-winning short film directed by an amazing talent that has seen an international audience. I have written several screenplays that have won various awards and done well in film festivals and I have also written two novels I am trying to get published. I would love to do more film, but I find great fulfillment in the creative writing process. I hope to produce one or two of those screenplays myself. I decided not to give up. Were circumstances different the decision may have been different. Those first two scenarios where I quit had much different circumstances. I was young, I could try my hand elsewhere, I could recover. Now in my seventies, a lot of doors are closed. Yet there are still opportunities.

So back to the original question: How to know whether to keep going or give up? Ask some questions.

Is the goal your life’s true dream? Do you see this as your life’s work over all others?
Is it something you crave and yearn for and have done so for your entire life?
Is it something that is permanent, not just a passing fancy for you?
If you attain that goal will you be truly fulfilled as a human being?
What are you willing to sacrifice to obtain that goal?
What are your loved ones willing to sacrifice?
Is your goal a worthy one–is it just gaining adoration for yourself or does it have a meaningful and memorable aspect for society?
How can pursuing this goal change you, especially if you are not achieving it?
As time passes are you more or less likely to achieve it?
Is giving up going to haunt you and affect you the rest of your life, thinking about the “what ifs?”
Is your talent level and personality the same as when you started to pursue it? 

Do the individuals who control avenues to your goal have their own agendas as to who they support. Are they built on criteria which you can’t control such as race, gender, politics?

If you are the same individual with the same talent level you have been for years in pursuit of your goal and you have not been able to grab the golden ring, the odds of you getting it in the future are diminished with time.

So in summary, the answer is to consider all the factors listed above, as well as others to examine what is truly best for you and your loved ones in whatever your endeavor? You’ve had a dozen agents as an actor. You’ve worked a dozen law firms as a lawyer trying to make partner, you’ve made a dozen albums as a musician, you’ve done your best, sweated blood and shed tears. Do you stay on your horse charging forward, or do you call it a day and revel in the journey, the friendships and the experience? The choice is yours and yours alone. Ultimately though it’s important to remember that not attaining that goal often has nothing to do with you personally.

  

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?

Everyone struggles to some degree or another. I remember having a happy childhood even though we grew up poor. I never felt deprived or neglected. After high school, I had a yearning for adventure and joined the Army in 1966. I was fortunate to be accepted into Intelligence School and language school and was then sent to Vietnam. Vietnam was definitely a maturing experience. I worked with several different units and travelled all through the Mekong Delta. I worked very hard to do my best and was looking forward to marrying my sweetheart and starting a “normal” life when I mustered out. I was only 20 years old and after a while of trying to fit into mundane jobs, I had an opportunity to join the Chicago Police Department and there I found my true calling. It was never easy though as promotions were scarce, but I loved the job and my fellow officers. After eight years I was fortunate to be selected to serve in the Mounted Patrol which was truly a unique experience. In my career, I was able to return twice more to that unit-once as a sergeant, and once as the Commanding Officer. After ten years, I made detective and worked violent crimes and as a hostage negotiator. These were unique experiences and I witnessed the best and worst of the human condition. I later worked in administration and then was fortunate to be promoted to lieutenant and then to Commander, Deputy Chief of Detectives and then retired as Deputy Chief of Organized Crime. I was honored to serve with many heroes during my 31 year career. I am most proud of making the city safer in some small degree and for providing a measure of justice to those least likely to experience it.

After retirement, I embarked upon ventures to learn the art of acting, then writing, then filmmaking. I enjoy working with creative people. I am most proud of working with Mary Reynard to create an award-winning short film, called “RPG” that focuses on the tremendous intergenerational loss experienced by veterans and their families.

I am proud of helping to save a wounded Vietnamese woman, and also of saving several families in a deprived area from an early morning fire that swept through their homes, and of bringing several violent criminals to justice.

Ultimately, I would like the world to know that we each have special talents and that it is our responsibility to develop them. With perseverance and a plan everyone can create memorable and meaningful works. “Success” is in the journey and in building friendships.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.

Chicago is the greatest city in the world. It is truly an ethnic “smorgasbord” of neighborhoods. It also is one of the most architecturally significant cities in the world. Chicago embraces all apects of the arts as well. But one of the most special things is the great food. So for visitors, I would invite them to visit our downtown area where they could see the amazing architecture, then to Grant Park to see the iconic “bean ” sculpture and the famous Buckingham fountain and gaze at the amazing lakefront. There would also be a trip such as an architectural tour by boat which travels down the Chicago River and then out into Lake Michigan. One of the special things would be to visit the Art Institute that has thousands of works of antiquity as well as the works of the Masters such as Rembrandt, Seurat, Picasso, Van Gogh, among many others.

However, I would punctuate each day with the wonders of Chicago’s amazing diverse cuisine. I would hit mostly neighborhood places where families have worked for years to develop the unique tastes of family restaurants. There is “Gio’s” in Bridgeport for Italian, Furama. in Chinatown for Chinese. There is the Mexico Steak House where two sisters have labored for decades. There are also many, many, special places to experience great pizza, such as Julliani’s in the southern suburbs, There is an endless variety of fine dining.

I would be remiss if we did not experience the finest talent in Chicago performing at some of the world’s greatest venues such as The Goodman, or Steppenwolf. There are also terrific productions at places like Drury Lane.

Finally there would be a trip to the clouds as we would experience the observation decks of the “Sears” Tower and the Hancock Center, some of the tallest buildings in the world.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?

It can be easy to overlook the usual suspects when giving thanks, but really my parents gave me so much for which I am grateful. They instilled me with a sound fundamental ethical framework as well as a sense of not forgetting from where I came. They were hard working-class individuals who sacrificed everything for their children. I miss them tremendously. I also deeply love my sister and brother, a gifted talent.

As I progressed through life and into the military, I reflect that I was the young kid on the block. I want to especially thank my roommates in language school, and the officers on my intelligence team in Vietnam for their guidance and support. I thank our Vietnamese interpreters for teaching me their culture and showing me how the war affected their people.

I am deeply grateful to all my partners and mentors on the Chicago Police Department who kept me safe and who recognized my abilities and allowed me to shine, especially Pete Schurla and Terry Hillard, as well as Tim Gainer. I also have deep regard for Donna Killen, and the late Chris Hitney who persevered through adversity to help me immensely in my career. There are so many others.

As I transitioned to the entertainment business after retirement, I thank the late Frank Galati for recognizing my potential. I thank my agents and manager, especially Sharon Holleran, who has always been my advocate and friend. I also thank Veterans in Media and Television, especially Karen Kraft and Jennifer Marshall. I give a shout out to Ed Bernero, for his kindness. I am especially grateful to my friend and the director of my short film, the brilliant and talented Mary Reynard. I also wish to thank Jonni Anderson for helping me self-publish my first work. I am grateful for my agent here, Susan Acuna, who has a great heart.. I greatly appreciate the camaraderie of those in my entertainment family to include my friend David Kupcinet, Thomas Argenbright, and Aurelia Boyle, who are working together with me to produce some non-scripted shows. I consider them my friends and hope for a long collaboration.

Of course, I wish to acknowledge the support and love of my terrific wife, Maggie, who put up with me for more than the 53 years of our marriage. My gifted children, Matt and Lauren, always keep me on my toes and are wonderful individuals and my two grandchildren, Bennett and Ellie, light up my days and fill my heart.

Website: jmountie1.wixsite.com/joegandurski

Instagram: joeygman1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joegandurski/

Facebook: joeyGman

Youtube: Joe Gandurski @joegandurski3062

Other: Short film, “RPG”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5qqoAuVnoY Actors reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRR70619Gbs Detective sizzle reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs1RpZ0nNdM Chicago Tribune Article: https://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/daily-southtown/ct-sta-vickroy-gandurski-film-st-0724-20170721-story.html Beverly Review Article: https://www.beverlyreview.net/news/community_news/article_07fcf884-d884-11ed-9a69-c7926377c622.html Novelette: The Women of Fort Dearborn https://www.amazon.com/Women-Fort-Dearborn-Joseph-Gandurski/dp/1478310804/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Nominate Someone: ShoutoutMichigan is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.